Argonaut
1430 Maryland Ave NE
Washington, DC 20002
Would I return? Can't Wait!
Considering I am a well known connaisseur of fine Washington dive bars, I never pass up an opportunity to venture into northeast DC. With a fist full of singles and my golden dive-bar rules in tow, I ventured to the Argonaut with a merry band of companions. While my friends had indicated that the Argonaut was a dive bar, upon entering, I realized that it was anything but. With their own "booty beer," extensive dining menu and wall-to-wall sea-side theme, I was saddened to realize that this place just did not accidentially happen... and this clearly was not a place people simply ended up. It was a rather nice establishment people purposefully visited, and for good reason.
While the theme of the pub seemed more "Barnacle Bill" as compared to "mythological band of sea fairing heroes," I did enjoy their extensive beer selection (over a dozen on tap) and nearly perfect sweet potato french fries. It would have warmed my soul if they had they given me a "are you seriously ordering food from this place when a McDonald's is just around the corner," glare upon ordering, but it just wasn't so. The Argonaut simply isn't a dive bar... so my quest for the perfect dive bar continues.
Side note: A special shout out to our bartender for the delicious round of red colored shots. Nothing makes sweet potato fries taste better than... red... stuff.
Toledo Lounge
2435 18th St NW
Washington, DC 20009
Would I return? Absolutely!
There has always been a special place in my heart for the Toledo Lounge. Located in Adams Morgan, it is my go-to bar for a quick pint or two during a particularly stressful work week. Their $2 beer offerings are in sharp contrast to a number of other Adams Morgan bars, yet the food and jukebox are superb. While I once would have considered this establishment a dive bar, the food is just too good, even if it is simply bar food. Also, the beer selection is far beyond what a normal dive bar would offer. When the owners make an effort to have seasonal beers, even in the most basic ways, can it really be a dive bar? There is also an issue of the Toledo Lounge's very popular patio. Throughout the summer, if you do not arrive by 6:30 (about a half hour after they open), it can be a real fight for a quality seat.
As you will find, simply because a bar is not a dive bar, does not mean that I will not frequent it on a regular basis. Finally, Tom, my favorite bartender, has a Fonzie like way of making you long to return to the cozy establishment. It only took five visits before he knew my order by heart.
If I am going to blog about one of my all-time favorite things - dive bars - it is only fitting that I define what a dive bar is and, more importantly, is not. After much soul searching and dive bar pondering... I have isolated the basic mechanics of what makes a regular bar a dive bar. It really is not that difficult, but I was amazed at how these rules redefined many of the establishments I frequent.
The golden rule to any dive bar is that it must sell inexpensive alcohol. That rule should be etched in stone somewhere incredibly important. You can attempt to justify a number of the other variables listed below when classifying your favorite dive bar, but if you find yourself in a place where you can not afford to drink on a regular basis, you are either unemployed or situated in a faux dive bar.
Other signs that you are in a dive bar:
- Half of the bar patrons stare you down upon entering.
- The beer options top out at around eight.
- It is a cash only establishment.
- Service with a smile is a foreign concept to the staff.
- The food, if they serve food, is anything but good.
- Not a piece of kitsch, anywhere.
- You choose to use a McDonald's bathroom the bar's bathroom.
- You would never, ever, pick up Mr. or Miss. Right.
About Me
What About XYZ?